Our children are struggling... Understand your child's Emotions

Almost one in five children across the world experience some form of behavioural or emotional difficulty during childhood

That’s nearly 20% of children, navigating complex feelings, challenges, and environments they don’t yet have the tools to fully understand or express.

And in response?
We’re seeing medicated solutions rising. Fast.

But here’s a pause point.
Before reaching for a prescription, we must take a deeper look.
Because beneath that anxiety, hyperactivity, withdrawal or anger… there’s something your child is trying to tell you.

And if we’re looking for real, long-term solutions – not just a quick fix – we have to learn to listen.

Medication might ease the symptoms…

…but what about the cause?

Let’s be honest – parenting a child in emotional distress is incredibly hard. Seeing your child struggle with focus, regulation, or big behaviours can feel frightening, frustrating, and overwhelming.

So when medication is offered as a solution, it can feel like a lifeline.
And in some cases, with the right guidance and support, it can be part of a wider plan.

But here’s the danger: medication can also act like a mask.
One that quiets the behaviour, without addressing the message behind it.

Because behaviour is communication.
And emotional outbursts, withdrawal, or ‘defiance’ are often signs of a child under stress – a child out of balance, overwhelmed, or simply trying to cope with something they don’t yet understand.

Ask: What is my child trying to show me?

Instead of asking “How can I stop this?”
Try asking:

• “Why might they be feeling this way?”
• “What are they struggling to express?”
• “What might they need from me right now?”

A child acting out is rarely choosing to be ‘difficult’. More often, they’re showing us where things feel too big for them. Where they need connection, not correction.

Understanding your child’s emotions isn’t always simple. But it is powerful. And it’s where healing and genuine support begins.

Medication is not a shortcut to well-being

That doesn’t mean medication should never be used. But it should never be the first or only response to emotional difficulty – especially if we haven’t explored the why behind the behaviour.

Because when we medicate without understanding, we risk:

• Suppressing symptoms without solving the root cause
• Sending the message that big feelings are “wrong” or “broken”
• Creating long-term dependency on external solutions
• Overlooking trauma, sensory needs, or unmet developmental support

And above all, we risk teaching our children that their emotions – even the messy ones – are problems to be silenced, not understood.

So what can we do?

Instead of jumping to quick fixes, try building a foundation of support:

• Create safety. Children need to know they are safe – not just physically, but emotionally too.
• Observe without judgement. Notice patterns. What triggers certain behaviours? What helps them settle?
• Validate emotions. Let them know their feelings are okay, even when their actions need gentle redirection.
• Seek the right kind of help. Work with professionals who prioritise emotional understanding, not just symptom management.
• Look inward too. How we respond to our child’s emotions is often shaped by how we were taught to handle our own.

Let them feel. Let them be heard.

Children are not mini-adults.
Their emotional systems are still under construction.
Their behaviour is their language.
And our job is to listen.

So before considering medicating your child’s emotions, take time to understand them. To walk alongside them. To show them that there is nothing “wrong” with having big feelings – but that there are ways to move through them safely, with love and support.

Because that’s what brings long-term change.
Not silence. Not suppression.
But connection.

Dr Kathryn Peckham is an Early Childhood Consultant, author and researcher and the founder of Nurturing Childhoods and the Nurturing Childhoods Academy.  Providing all the knowledge, understanding and support you need to nurture the children in your life.